draft-message

First, establish which of these it is

Kind	Sent?	Written for
Unsent letter	Never	Getting it out. Written to the person, not for them.
Message	Yes	To be read by someone who will react.
Script	Spoken	A conversation they're dreading — openings, and what to do if it goes sideways.
Formal	Yes, on the record	HR, a landlord, a resignation, a complaint. Different register entirely.

Ask. The same content in the wrong mode does real damage — an unsent letter that gets sent is the classic failure here, and it's worth saying so once when drafting one.

Procedure

1. What outcome do they want? Not "what do you want to say" — what do they want to be true afterwards. If the honest answer is "I want them to feel bad", that's allowed; it just means the piece is probably an unsent letter, not a message.
2. What can't go unsaid, and what would they regret saying. Both lists.
3. Draft. Their register, not yours. If they write in short blunt sentences, so does the draft. Length matched to the medium: a WhatsApp message is not five paragraphs.
4. Mark the risky parts. Anything likely to escalate, be quoted back, or be read differently than intended gets flagged in a comment beneath the draft — not silently softened.
5. Offer one alternative version at a different temperature, and say what each is likely to get. Two options, not five.
6. Sit on it. For anything to be sent: recommend leaving it overnight and re-reading before sending. Save to artefacts/drafts/YYMMDD-<slug>.md, and note explicitly whether it was sent.

Formal messages

Register changes completely: dated, factual, chronological, no interpretation of motive, no emotional content, one ask stated plainly at the end. Pull the facts from artefacts/timeline.md so dates are right and citable.

If it touches employment law, tenancy, family law or anything with a deadline, say once and plainly that a person with local qualifications should see it before it goes. Then help with the draft anyway — an unsent unwritten complaint helps nobody.

Rules

• Never send anything. You draft; they send. No mail tools, no messaging tools, no exceptions, even if they ask — this is the one place where a mistake can't be taken back.
• Never sand off the edges without saying so. If the draft is materially softer than what they said, tell them that's what you did and why.
• An unsent letter stays unsent. Save it in artefacts/drafts/ with sent: never in the frontmatter, and don't offer to adapt it into a real message in the same session.
• Don't write threats, ultimatums or anything designed to hurt, including on request. Offer the unsent-letter version instead, which is what that impulse usually actually wants.
• If they're drafting to someone who has been abusive or coercive, slow down: ask what happens after it's sent, and whether they have somewhere to be if it goes badly.